My Boss...

is completely insane.

I've had some baaad bosses. A drunk 24 year old ex beauty queen. A former Marine who believed that everything must be done by a list of strict and stringent rules. A nasty old man who tried to make me his girlfriend in exchange for my job. . But at least they have a method to their madness...

#1 was a gold-digging whore
#2 had 12 weeks of bootcamp engrained permanently in his brain, with the scars to prove it
#3 is just a dirty old man. And I'm hot. You can't blame him.* But stilll... Eeewwww....

This one, I just don't get.

I'm usually pretty good at figuring people out. I can usually read them with minimal effort. Figure out their weaknesses, their strengths, what motivates them, and what really gets to them. This skill has been incredibly helpful to me on multiple occasions.

But this boss... I don't know.

I've considered all the possibilites - abusive childhood, LDS (Little Dick Syndrome, for those of you just tuning in), broken heart, drugs, absent father - and none of them seem to explain why he is the way he is.

Here is what I do know

*He is French. French people are rude. And most of them dislike Americans. And they spit when they talk. Yuck.

*He is incapable of being happy for longer than 25 minutes. Not possible. Not even remotely.

*He is a workaholic, and expects everyone around him to be the same way. He has no life, no real friends, and nothing outside of his company.

*He believes that criticism and abuse are the most productive ways to get people to work harder for him. Screaming, yelling, throwing things, degrading, and critisizing are his favorite motivational tools. Actually, I kinda think he just likes treating people like shit.

*You never know what to expect. When he walks in the door, you take a deep breath and wait for the first 5 words out of his mouth. That will tell you everything you need to know about his mood and subsequently how your day is going to be.

In order to avoid being labelled as "overexaggerating"  I am going to provide a couple of concrete examples of this insane behavior -

1) Back in October, I wanted to put a few days of PTO time in for Christmas. When I made the initial request on a Wednesday afternoon, he screamed, cussed, and called me every name in the book, as well as reminded me of my incompetance and how I don't deserve to spend Christmas with my family. I went home that night pretty much convinced I would be spending the holidays in Houston.

The next morning, he sought me out at 7 A.M. to ask me what days I had thought about being gone for Christmas. As I mumbled something about hadn't really thought about it since I didn't think I was going home, he yelled at me for not having any plans in place. Then he went into his office and slammed the door. 10 minutes later I recieved an e-mail that was the flight confirmation for my 2 boys and I to fly to Denver for Christmas. He PAID for the boys and I to go home for Christmas. After screaming at me for wanting to take time off.

However, when I wrote him a note thanking him for his generosity, he responded by immediately telling me I would be working the entire weekend after Thanksgiving. Lord. "You're welcome" would've worked.

2) Among the many things that I have been screamed at for:**
*Having an unorganized desk
*Taking a 2 hour lunch (when I was gone 20 minutes)
*Not working 50 hours a week
*Having too many pens (WHAT?)

3) I think he is competing to see how quickly he can run people off. He had a warehouse employee who quit after 5 days because "Bertrand was bad for his health", Our new Dallas salesman lasted 48 hours before he had enough. And our newest driver made it through 5 hours before he told me I was a saint for putting up with that psychotic man as he ran out he door.

4) On Friday, I had the day off to spend with family. That morning, one of my employees called to let me know he wouldn't be in because his Grandfather had approximately 48 hours to live, so his family was headed to spend time with him. When I relayed this message to the boss, the response was, and I quote "Well if gramps had 48 hours to live, then he could have worked all day and then went to see him. 24 hours would've been plenty. And I expect to see a death certificate on my desk on Monday or he's fired."
Seriously? Who does that?

I just can't keep up with the rollercoaster ride. It is insane, and exhausting. And I've had enough. I actuall walked out of his office while he was in mid screaming fit sentence today because I simply couldn't listen to it for another second. There has to be better out there than total insanity.

But for now, just knowing that he is insane, and pretty much everyone sees it, kinda helps.

NOTES:

*Actually, I CAN blame him. And I do. Thus, the sexual harrassment lawsuit. I don't believe in sue-happy America. I do believe that powerful, evil, money hungry men like him need to pay for what they do to women.

** I don't get yelled at normally. I try to be the picture perfect employee. I do everything right, and then check again to make sure it's right, just to avoiding making people angry at me. So therefore, I did everything that I could to do everything right, and it was never good enough. Talk about frustrating.