GRADUATION

So, May 12th was pretty much one of the most MONUMENTAL days in my life.

It was GRADUATION day!

Y'all, this has been a long time coming, and it felt sooooooo good to walk across that stage and get that degree. I'm pretty proud right now.

I graduated Cumae Sum Laude (4.0 GPA) and with other honors.

The family was in attendance. (Although they almost missed it due to a freak Colorado blizzard that left them almost stranded in Denver - so I got to pick them up at 4 AM and graduate at 10. Always a good time)

So, it's on to the next stage of my life. You know, the one I've been completely indecisive about for the last 9 months or so? Yep, still no clue. Lovely. I'm kinda going with the let's just see what happens thing... because I have a knack for landing on my feet. I am starting to get nervous though, because, honestly, I don't know what the plan is.

For now though, I'm totally enjoying the fact that I'm a GRADUATE!!!

My baby and Me

AKPsi Business Fraternity Graduates

Check out our badass Graduation Caps!

Bring on whatever is next, because I'm ready!

Livin' La Vida Loca...

Let me just take a moment to say:

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, deep breath. I'm starting to feel better.

I am the most stressed out I've EVER been. And that includes the times while I was going through a divorce AND randomly moving to Texas.

Life is crazy. Not that I'm complaining. It's crazy in a good way. But I've got so many balls in the air that I'm going nuts making sure they don't go flying everywhere or smack me in the face.

I am in my last semester of school. At least for this degree. Can I just say how freakin' excited I am?

I ordered my graduation invitations and cap & gown yesterday. I feel like jumping up and down like a little kid. I never thought I'd get here.

But I gotta say - 60 credit hours in 10 months is pretty badass. Keeping a 4.0 while pulling that off is seriously badass. Just sayin'...

Ok, I'm done bragging. Because seriously, the classes I'm taking this semester are kicking.my.ass. I'm gonna be lucky to hang on to that 4.0 til the end. Cuz it's rough.

On top of this - I have to move on by March 15th.

This is an improvement though.

Because at first it was February 15th, then it was March 1st. If I had to move in 5 days, I would shoot myself. Spring Break is waaaay better for moving. Thank God.

 On top of all this, I have a seriously important test on March 4th. Like a life changing, career deciding, seriously important test. So I need to study. Actually, I should have been studying for the past 3-4 months. But I suppose a week will have to do.

Oh, and on top of that - I've got this little thing I'm doing...

I'm pledging to a coed business fraternity.

Yes. I'm serious. This 27 year old mother of 2 boys is pledging a fraternity. (Pauses for laughter)

Crazy, right? Probably. But it's something I really want to do. And I make a point to meet my goals. Soo...

Plus, I get to play softball with them. Bonus. :)

But yea, I'm a little busy.

But I'm coming up for breath every once in a while. And when I do, I promise to say hi!

XOXO

Celebrating Mediocrity

So, when exactly did we become a nation that celebrates mediocrity while ignoring true achievement?

Why is it that many high schools no longer honor their top graduates with the title of "valedictorian" for fear of making others feel bad?

Why don't we keep score at soccer games anymore?

Why is everyone put on the team and given equal playing time, regardless of ability?

Why are those who barely do what is expected of them congratulated, while those who excel are ignored?

SOMEONE help me understand when and why this happened!

What happened to competition, excellence, working hard, and being recognized for ACTUAL achievements?

This is called life. There are winners and losers. People who work hard, have natural ability, and maybe a stroke of luck, will usually make it big and accomplish great things. Those who are lazy or incapable or don't care - won't.

So WHY are we teaching our children that everyone is inherently the same, that competition is bad, and that being the best isn't something to be proud of?

I think this new found socialistic idea of celebrating mediocrity and ignoring excellence is not only ridiculous and unfair, it is also harmful to our children. We are showing them that everyone wins, that hard work and talent isn't rewarded, and that as long as you just "try your best" that's ALWAYS going to get you everything you want.

Yet we all know this isn't true. This is America. Hard work, talent, entrepreneurship, and being the best at something do pay off. Raising our children in such a way that everyone is a winner and those barely doing what is expected are celebrated does nothing but undermine the very values our society is built upon.

Guess what? Getting cut from a team because they weren't good enough isn't going to kill them. It's going to make them tougher, practice harder, and want it even more. Or it's going to make them realize they want to focus their energy on something else.

And those students who truly do excel in school deserve to be recognized. Kids who are barely meeting minimum requirements should realize they are doing what is expected of them and work harder. Children who exceed those requirements and go above and beyond should see the rewards of that effort.

Do we really want to raise a generation of kids that see no point in giving their best effort and excelling in these, academically, physically, or otherwise, because there is no incentive to do so? Do you know what that would do to this country? We would have no new technology, great political leaders, or Olympic athletes, because there would be no incentive for people to work hard and achieve greatness.

Maybe it's time we stop worrying about everyone's feelings and focus a little more on reality.

People win. People lose. Competition is what makes people better and stronger.

I want my son to know what it feels like to lose. It will teach him humility, patience, and that you have to work really hard to achieve your dreams.

But I also want him to know the feeling of winning and being recognized when he truly does excel.

Taking that away from him is an injustice, not just to him, but to the principles our country is built on.

Random Thoughts of an Exhausted College Student

One.More.Final.

One. More. Final.

I am completely exhausted. 6 finals will do that to you. Making an "A" on all those finals will make you insane.

Trust me, I'm there.

I'm sooo there that I missed doing the last 20 questions of my Governmental Accounting Final today. Yep, seriously. Thank God my Prof is a badass and grabbed me before I left and let me finish it.

So here is what is currently going through my mind, created by exhaustion, relief, and a smidge of insanity:

*Why would a professor design a test with the intent for students to fail? Doesn't that say a lot about her teaching ability and interest in student success? Just because she hated our class due to the fact that we were constantly proving her wrong doesn't mean that our failure is going to help her.

*HOW is it possible that a peice of chocolate that weighs .4 oz can cause me to gain 2 pounds? It doesn't make sense, at all. Shouldn't the MAXIMUM amt of weight I'm able to gain be equal to the weight of the food?

*It's amazing how little sleep the body needs to (at least semi) function. I have enough caffeine in my body to power a small city for 24 hours. I adore the sugar free breve lattes and the Splenda based frappacuinos. HELLO low carb coffee fixes :) No lie, I think I'll need an intervention to get off this stuff.

*Total spent on USED books at the beginning of the semester: $974.20
  Total received for those books at buyback: $213.97
  Getting completely screwed by the monopoly bookstore: Priceless

*Colorado in T-Minus 6 days. Whoot whoot!

Ok, and that's all! I need literally 2 points on my final tomorrow to get an A. I think I can pull that off with very minimal effort.

I am going to post all the pretty pictures from this weekend though! Keep an eye out for it!

Currently...

... drowning in finals.


...sitting at school.


...drinking a Triple Venti Sugar Free Breve Cinnamon Dolce Latte.


...exhausted from being up all night.


...on information overload from studying.


...excited for Christmas break.


...praying it's over soon!

The Good News...

In roughly 4 hours 34 minutes and 18 seconds (but who is counting?) I will be DONE.WITH.CLASSES. For the semester.

This is fantastic news.

Although it seems a little anti-climatic when you consider the fact that I am looking down the barrel of 2 weeks of finals. But STILL.

This means no more projects. No more papers. No more listening to super boring lectures. For a MONTH.

This is cause for celebration.

Especially the going home to Colorado in 18 days part.

And the not waking up at 3 AM freaking out because I think I forgot to do an assignment that was due the next morning (Which, I never actually did. I'm just OCD like that.)

And the SLEEP. Hurray for the sleep!

I'm excited. I'm ready. I'm headed to class. But only for the next 4 hours and 29 minutes. Then...

FREEDOM!

Some People Need to be Protected From Themselves!

I own a gun. Big Surprise, Right?!?

I'm also getting my concealed weapon license. No Shock there.

I believe that once I do that, I should have the right to carry that weapon on campus to protect myself in the event that some crazy person decides to pull a Virginia Tech.

Currently, this is quite the debate on campus.

Basically, the campus police and the hippies are on the anti-carry side. Their arguement is that kids aren't responsible enough to carry guns, and that there would be more gun related incidents, and that it would be more dangerous on campus, as well make it harder for the police to find and take care of the shooters if a dangerous gunman does show up on campus. The hippies also threw in the "we should be focusing on peace, not violence" and "knowledge trumps violence".

Last time I checked, a book will not stop a bullet. Quoting Shakespeare will not keep a gunman from shooting you.

So, here is my take on this whole situation...

All Utah Colleges, as well as Colorado State University, have been concealed carry campuses since 2003. And guess what? Statistics don't lie...
*There have been ZERO incidents involving a gun, concealed or otherwise, at any of these campuses.
*Crime rates of all kinds have dropped significantly
*Students report feeling safer and more protected

No one is running around showing off their guns. No one even knows who is carrying (Thus the concealed carry). And as far as kids running around with guns - Nope. You have to be 21 to even apply for a CCL (Concealed Carry License), and then you have to go through a rigourous training course and a complete background check. Not just anyone can get a CCL. And it comes with rules - like no carrying a weapon while drinking or in an establishment that the majority of their business comes from alcohol sales (ie bars, pool halls, etc.). Finally, guns would NOT be allowed to be kept in residence halls. Period.

There are 3 cops on duty at all times. However, if there is a shooter on campus, 2 cops have to be there to even go in. This can take a lot of time, up to 15 minutes. An AK-47, depending on the modifications, can shoot up to 30 rounds per second. So, simple math says that 15 minutes waiting on police response times 30 rounds per second = 27,000 potential bullets shot from 1 weapon before the police show up. Call me crazy, but I'd rather not be sitting around waiting for the police and hoping that one of those many bullets doesn't hit me. I'm not trying to be a hero, but I think I deserve the chance to protect myself.
Honestly, if you look at the police response to the last 3 school shootings, it has been less than impressive. Ask yourself, how many victims is too many? And how many less would there have been if someone besides just the shooter had a gun? It's easy to shoot at a bunch of unarmed kids hiding behind desks and chairs. Knowing that someone else could shoot back is an entirely different ballgame.

All I'm saying is that I deserve the right to defend myself, after proving that I am competent enough to have a CCL. Who can't agree with that?

I would hope my school would.

I AM Alive...

I know, it's hard to believe considering that I have disappeared for a MONTH.

But this blog isn't RIP yet!

Soooo much has happened, and it has been completely insane.

The short recap -

*Cancun was AMAZING - it included parasailing, cliff jumping, snorkeling, lots of hot days and fun nights. Loved it! Unfortunately, my camera got stolen on our last day there, so pictures are pretty much nonexistent.

*I quit my job 2 days before I left for Cancun. You have NO idea how AMAZING that felt. No more crazy boss. No more 11 hour days. No more workplace drama. Love it. The only downside is I'm now basically without an income. But eh, details.

*I moved from Houston 10 days ago. Moving, ps, SUCKS. Packing and organizing and loading and driving. Multiple times over. I'm still working on the unpacking part, but at least the house looks okay. All the boxes are in the garage and I bring them in one at a time as time allows. I also somehow fit a garage sale into the mix before I left, so I got rid of a bunch of stuff as well.

*School started last Monday. I'm officially a full time student again. It's good. And bad. Of course I'm super stressed about the financial piece of it, but I'm doing this to better myself and my life. 1 week and 3 tests in, I'm still hanging in there!

*J is in Colorado with my mom, and occasionally visiting his dad, for 3 weeks. I miss him like CRAZY, but at least the timing is good because I only have 1 munchkin to deal with during this transitition. At some point, K is going to visit for a week also, and then I'll have them both back.

Sooo... those are the highlights of my world these days. I promise that I will get back into the swing of things and share real "blogworthy" events and details soon. I have lots! I'm just currently drowning in the world of school and moving and getting organized and dealing with the newest total life change. It's what I do!

XOXO

The Only Constant...

Apparently, I am incapable of being content with stability. The same routine day in and day out just isn't enough for me. It was a sunny day in August when I packed up my belongings and my children and moved, literally overnight, to Texas from Colorado. It was a whirlwind change, and one of the best decisions I've ever made. I eventually landed in Houston where, after a lot of struggles, I now have a stable, decent paying job, a house of my own, a great daycare, an amazing church, good friends, and a fairly predictable life.

Sooo... where does that leave me?

Time for change. Again.



My last day at my job will be next Friday. I start school June 7th. I am moving 3 hours away.



I have no house.

No job.

No friends.

No stability.

And yet, I'm doing it anyway.

Awesome.

Yes, I am completely freaking out. Yes, the OCD part of me is telling me that this is the worst idea I have ever had and I need to stop right now and go back to the comfort of my stability. Yes, I'm scared that things aren't going to work out and I'm going to end up homeless and penniless. Yes, I'm concerned about the boys going through yet another major change in their young lives. Yes, yes, yes. I've considered it all. And worried about it all. Trust me.

But I'm doing it anyway.

I'm doing it because I believe that life should be an adventure. That it should be lived. That we should always be striving for the next goal, instead of complacently staying where we are.

Don't get me wrong, stability is a good thing. A comfortable, secure, healthy environment is incredibly important, especially for children. However, there is a difference between security and settling.

I don't want to settle. I don't want to feel regret over the things I haven't done. I want to push and grow and learn and experience and know that I've done the best that I could.

Currently, I'm not doing that. Right now, I'm settling. I have a job that, while it pays the bills and looks good on a resume, makes me miserable and unhappy and short and exhausted. I want to do more. I want to feel challenged. I want to pursue dreams. I want to do bigger things. Better things. Great things. I want to give my boys a life they love and a mother they can be proud of. I want them to see that settling for anything less than their best isn't what it's all about. I want them to know that it is worth the work, sacrifice, and hard choices to pursue their dreams. I want them to know that because of me.

So, this is the next step in accomplishing that. It's time to throw caution to the wind and just jump. I have a knack for landing on my feet. I'll be fine. I'm sure it will be rough for a while. I'm sure there will be moments when I will question why I chose to do this. But I also strongly believe that in the end, this will be exactly what I needed.

No one ever promised it would be easy, they only said it would be worth it.

Plan B

I came across a quote today that impacted me - Mostly because it was exactly what I needed.

"Life is all about how you handle Plan B; Plan B is the test of true character."

Wow. How many times do my plans fall apart and I am forced to move to Plan B? How often do things not go my way and I have to figure out something different? And most importantly, how do I react to that?

Character isn't created when things are easy. When life is peaches and cream and things are going the way that I want, it's easy to be strong and happy and faithful and positive and good. There is no character building taking place in moments of ease and calm.

It's those moments when things fall apart. When you watch plans dissipate before your eyes. When you get told "No" even though you really really wanted a "yes". That is where character building happens.

This past year has been a series of "Plan B"s. I am a type A personality, so I make plans and lists and want to control everything and make it go exactly the way I think it should. However, things continually didn't work out the way that I thought they needed to. I was forced to Plan B.

And often, I didn't react well. I would get mad. Frustrated. Upset. Ready to give up.

But once I got over my personal temper tantrum, I would pick myself up, dust off my boots, and start working on Plan B. And that is how I got tough. That's what made me strong and independent. That's where my character was built. I didn't appreciate it each time it happened, but I can look back now and say those "Plan B"s are what made me a better person. I've gained appreciation, patience (a little anyway, I still don't have much), understanding, and most importantly, HOPE.

That things will work out. That everything will be okay. And that God does have a plan for my life that is going to be better than anything my Type A personality can come up with.

I wanted the University of Texas soooo bad. My Plan A was all or nothing. And it fell through. I wouldn't be so frustrated if it wasn't for the reasons that it was. It's not because I don't have an excellent academic record. It isn't because I didn't write killer essays. It's not because my test scores weren't great. It's not because I didn't take the right classes or enough of them.

Nope, it's because I have too many credits. Yep. Seriously. I double majored and got 2 degrees, so I have too many credits. So UT won't even look at anything else. Nothing else matters.

That's a serious setback. There goes Plan A.

I'm not going to lie... I am incredibly disappointed. And frustrated. And angry. (I mean, really, who denies admission to a 4.0 Honors Student based on too many credits?! I even made the point to the admissions counselor I was talking to "So if I had been less motivated and only gotten 1 degree or been dumber and failed a few classes, I wouldn't have this problem?" - The answer was yes.) But I'm digressing...

The point here is that it's time for Plan B. Time to stop wallowing and figure out where to go from here. Figure out what I want to do and what's important to me. And mostly, it's time for character building and hope. I am going to be ok. This is going to be ok. It's not going to work out the way I want it to, but it will work out. I just need to focus on that.

If rough times make me stronger, then by the time this is over I'll be tough as nails.