*I actually wrote this originally about 3 years ago. But it still applies. So Enjoy*
I'm constantly being told that I don't know what I want when it comes to a man... That's not necessarily true. So I promised that when I was fairly sure I knew exactly what it was that I was looking for, I'd post a blog and let the world know... So here it is, be enlightened...
First off... I'm not gonna lie... Physical characteristics are important. I HAVE to be attracted. Not like "oh my god I'm gonna jump on him now" kind of attracted (this is usually reserved for those of a Trent Tomlinson status) but a "damn, he's hot... I could do that" kind of attracted. Now, what does Bri like? Tall, Dark, Handsome, Muscular. Able to hold his own. And the eyes... I LOVE eyes I can get lost in. I'm all about a smile. I like the kinda grundgy prep look if that makes sense. Think Calvin Klein models doing the cowboy shoots with a little 5 o'clock shadow and sleeveless cut shirt... That's HOT. And yes, I realize that the average man in NOT a Calvin Klein model and I get that. I'm not looking for supermodel, I'm just saying I like the general look.
Next, personality. I want a man who is just that... a MAN. No little boy drama and teenage bullshit. I'm 26 and have 2 kids... I don't need another one. I like my men confidant, occasionally even bordering on cocky. I like someone who comes across with the don't fuck with me attitude. Someone who ISN'T gonna let me get away with everything. I want someone independant, able to take care of himself, and who isn't clingy. I want a man who is solid in what he thinks and doesn't change his opinion just because I don't agree with it. Oh, and to put up with me, you better have some serious resilence and tough skin, cuz I can be a bitch. Basically, I want someone who can "man up" and make me feel safe and secure when I need that. Oh, and don't fall in love with me in 5 seconds. Seriously. Give me a little bit of a challenge. At least make it interesting. I know I'm that good... make me prove it a little bit!
I also DON'T want someone who is gonna freak out on me all the time. The overpossessive, overjealous, overly hot tempered thing is NOT sexy. I won't put up with that for me or my babies. I want a man who is good with kids and willing to play an authoritive role in their lives. NOT looking for a baby daddy, already have one thanks. I just think that if a man is gonna be a major part of my life, that will obviously include my children, so he should be able to a) get along with them b) treat them well and c) act like an adult around them and help to lead them in the right direction. Oh, and PS, I don't want any more kids. This point may possibly be debatable in the future depending on the situation, but I really wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.
What else??? I don't do well with emotional men. I'm simply not interested in that. I get that everyone has feelings, but I don't want to have to deal with my man's on a daily basis. Again, MAN UP. I don't do men crying either. Is that fair? Probably not. But thats how it is and if you can't deal with that, cool, that just means I'm not the woman for you and you should keep looking elsewhere! I like a man who does the occasional nice thing (making dinner, sending flowers, a card) but I don't want someone who is constantly at my beck and call and trying to impress me with shit. And just to clear things up now, I DON'T do poetry. Let me see if I can put this nicely... there are many many many great male poets throughout history, and they are all either gay or killed themselves. Don't want to deal with either of those scenarios, so lets just skip the poety stuff, cool?
What else? Oh, I'm smart. 4.0 student. I know a lot of shit about a lot of shit. A lot of men are totally intimidated by a smart woman. Get over it, or get out. I'm not gonna dumb it down for you. I want someone who can challenge me when it comes to a stimulating conversation. I like to debate. Intelligence is hot. Knowing politics, religion, world news, is hot. There is MORE to life than Xbox and Playboy magazines and football season. Realize that. (Although I agree that football season is important and Xbox can be fun occasionally. )
I like extreme things. I like adventure. I like having fun. I want someone who wants the same. Camping, rock climbing, white water rafting, skydiving, random trips to god knows where. Hell yea! I want a man who can plan this shit and actually surprise me with it, as well as us planning it together. I want a man who is braver than me, and I'm pretty damn brave. I want someone who can show me new things that I haven't experienced yet, and we can do them together. Someone with a little knowledge and experience, who wants to show me what they've had the chance to see and do and learn.
I want a man that is faithful, committed, and that I don't have to worry about cheating and playing games. If your penis has A.D.D. and you can't keep your attention on one woman, fine. I'm not gonna judge you, I just don't want to be with you. Please don't put me or you through that, cuz I can be a real bitch when I get my heart broken. I understand that the kind of man I want would probably attract a lot of female attention, but I want to know that he's mine, and I'm his, and that's that. I don't want lies, and I don't want to wonder who he's talking to on the side and what he's doing when he's not with me. I want a man I can trust. That's HUGE.
Oh, and if you've EVER hit, hurt, abused, or otherwise damaged a woman or child, stay the fuck away. I don't want to hear your "yea, but..." story. I'm just straight up not interested. Thanks.
Finally, life status... I want a man who has a job, a career, an established life, and goals that he is ACTUALLY making strides to reach. Dreams are great, but if you aren't doing shit to make them happen, then you're really not gonna impress me. I want someone who can completely take care of himself by himself. Pays his own bills, lives on his own (the parents basement DOES NOT count), has an education, has a career, is able to do better than a paycheck to paycheck life. I'm not looking for someone to take care of me or my boys, I have my college degree and am perfectly capable of doing that on my own. I just don't want to be responsible for the man I'm with too. Like I said, I don't need another child. I expect a man to occasionally be able to do nice thing monetarily, but more than that, I expect him to completely be able to take care of himself. And I get that shit happens and rough times occur, but that should be the exception, not the rule.
Well now... that's quite a list huh??? But I keep getting asked what it is that I want, so there you go. A complete description of what Bri wants. And its probably gonna insult and offend some people and to them I say this... GET OVER IT. This is my fantasy not yours. And if you didn't really want to know what I wanted, you shouldn't have asked.
And you know what amuses me? I'm probably gonna get at LEAST a dozen responses saying "Oh, I'm that man, blah blah blah" but what they REALLY mean is "Ok, since I know exactly what you're looking for I can pretend to be that man for a while". That's stupid. Why kid me? But more than that, why kid yourself? What's the point? Because eventually we'd figure out that you're really not that man, and then we just wasted a whole bunch of time that you could have been out looking for the woman who wants the man that you actually are. K? Thanks.