Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Past 10 Years...

I came across a blog that did a "snapshot" of different parts of the last 10 years of her life and what it looked like. I thought the idea was cute, and I'm totally one to shamelessly copy, so here it is. (Although I usually give credit, I can't remember which blog I got the idea from - so if it was yours, feel free to speak up!)

10 years ago - I was 16 years old. I was a sophomore in high school. I was also in the middle of my cross country trek with truckers. Yep, seriously. At 16 I thought it would be a good idea to run away from home and hitchhike across the United States with random strangers. (Trust me, I know I'm lucky to be alive. I was there, remember?) The reason for this little escapade? Definance, revenge, anger, and love. It's a good story. I'll share it sometime.

9 years ago  - I was 17, and locked up in a juvenille detention facility for delinquent teens. (The result of the running away stunt). My parents decided I was too much to handle and would be better off in a criminal facility. So I was charged with 2 crimes that I didn't commit (because you can't lock someone up simply for running away - go figure) and sent away for 2 years. Hands down the worst 2 years of my life. I saw, learned, and was involved in more than any 17 year old ever should be. Again, maybe someday I'll share.

8 years ago - I was 18 years old, free from the grasps of the law and my parents, a high school senior, and 2 months pregnant. It was a well kept secret ( My parents didn't even find out until I was almost 5 months along - and it would have been longer if they hadn't snooped). I walked the stage as Valedictorian with only a handful of people even aware that I was pregnant. I was terrified, alone, and had no idea what my plan was. The baby's dad and I weren't together, I had a full ride scholarship to Tulane University in New Orleans, and I hadn't a clue what I was going to do.

7 years ago - I was a new mom to a precious baby boy. I was in college, taking care of my son, and had just started dating a really great guy who made me feel like I was his whole world and everything was going to be ok. And he loved my son, so that was huge.

6 years ago - I was 20 years old. A brand new bride. And pregnant again. My husband was deployed and I was learning the ropes of being a military wife while dealing with the nausea of morning sickness. With a 1 year old, and still in school full time, it was pretty miserable. But there was a lot of hope for what the future held for us...

5 years ago - I had a 2 year old and a newborn, and made 3 separate car trips with them out to St. Louis to see their daddy. (My husband was stationed there for predeployment - yes again - training). The fact that we had spent so little of our married life actually together was quickly starting to take a toll  - and eventually broke us - literally and figuratively.

4 years ago - I was in the midst of an insane divorce. The kind where cops are involved, houses get trashed, awful accusations get thrown in all directions, and lawyers love because there is tons of money involved. I was working at a bar at night and going to school during the day, while trying to raise 2 children alone. (Their father wanted nothing to do with them.) I was also involved with someone else (we got together immediately after my husband and I split up - talk about a rebound). It was ridiculously unhealthly all around. But I did work my ass off and graduate with Accounting, Finance, and Business Admin. degrees. Yay me.

3 years ago - I was 23, and still in the above mentioned relationship. Except that it had become insanely abusive, and I put up with it. I had become THAT girl. The one who let a man treat her like that. I loved him so much, I thought that if I would just do enough right, that he would see it and change. I had a stable accounting job, a good income, and 2 precious boys who were getting bigger by the moment. But I was so lost. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted. I was trapped.

2 years ago - I was making plans to escape the relationship I was in. I knew it was time to get out, but I wasn't sure how or when or where. All I knew was that I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. It was bad and was only going to get worse. I ended up packing up and moving to Texas literally overnight - only knowing 1 person in the entire state. It was random. And it was good. Disappearing from my old life was the best thing I've ever done for myself or my boys.

1 year ago - I was living in Houston, just started an amazing new job.  I was head over heels insanely in love with a man I thought I was going to spend my life with. But I was also incredibly broken. My past had left my pretty scarred. And I defended myself the only way I knew how - by staying distant and closed and not letting  him close enough to show him how much I really loved him. It was about this time that I finally started letting those walls come down - but it was too little, too late. And he ended up leaving and never looking back. I got left for the first time in my entire life.

Today-  I'm 26. I'm still a little lost. Still not completely healthy. I still make some bad choices. But I'm ok. I'm stable. I'm grounded. I still don't know where this crazy road called life is going to take me, but I've learned to enjoy the ride, breathe in the fresh air, and hang on tight. I have a 5 year old and a 7 year old who are my entire life. I thank God for their resilency and love. I have everything I need, most of the things I want, and dreams of bigger things to come.

Check back in a year. I'm sure it will be a whole new chapter...


  1. 10 years ago...I got a FBI file!

  2. Gosh, I don't even think I could remember the details of my life from 10yrs ago!! I have a horrible memory.

  3. This was really interesting! Thank you for stopping by my blog :) I might have to try this 10yr thing one day!! Although, idk if I could remember everything like you! Ha! Good luck with everything. With a little "you" time and soul searching, I think you are going to just fine and when you least expect it, someone will come along. But for now, focus on you and your adorable boys and the rest will fall into place :) I know you didn't ask for my opinion but I gave it, ha! PS- Texas is the best. Period. Welcome :)