Tuesday, December 1, 2009

After A While...

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises

And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open

With the grace of an adult
Not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling apart in mid-flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much

So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

After a while you learn
That you really can endure
That you really are strong
And that you really do have worth

And you learn... and you learn...
With every goodbye you learn

In case you were wondering where I got the name of my blog - this is where.

You learn, and you grow, and you figure it out along the way. And life goes on. Always.

Even when you think you can't. Even when you don't want to. Even when you don't care.

It still goes on...

I spent a LOT of time waiting for the flowers. And it was such a waste of time and energy.

I started taking little steps towards planting my own garden and decorating my own soul about 2 years ago. I was in the midst of a crazy, abusive, broken relationship and was a disaster. But somehow, in the middle of all that, I got brave enough to do something for ME. I bought a motorcycle. At a huge price. Not monetarily, but emotionally and sometimes physically. And I have NEVER regretted it. Because it was the first step to finding me.

Despite the small steps here and there, it's still only been in the last 6 months that I have really began to decorate my own soul. Find what makes me happy. Discover my passions and abilities.

It's my guitar. It's my music. It's my motorcycle. It's skydiving. And dancing. And scary movies. And chocolate covered gummy bears. And cooking amazing new dishes. And concerts. And photography. And football. And tons of other things that I'm not even sure about yet.

It's decorating MY soul. And then surrounding myself with people who love and appreciate it.

After a while... you learn...

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