It's a Shit Day...

I woke up in a TERRIBLE fucking mood this morning.

Don't get me wrong. I will never be a morning person. Ever. People that jump out of bed like Mary fucking Poppins with a smile on their face need to be throat punched, in my opinion. I'm like "Calm the fuck down until I've had coffee and adderall and the clock says at LEAST 9 am. Or maybe 10, just to be safe". But most of the time I can at least maintain some semblance of control over myself, even when it's earlier than I'd like to be awake.

But today I woke up actually pissed off. For absolutely no reason. Just woke up in a shit mood.

And it's gotten progressively worse.

My 5:30 workout with my trainer usually helps alleviate stress and gets the day off to a good start. Today? Nope. Even she called me out on being a total bitch. Deserved. Totally deserved.

Coffee isn't fixing my problem. Adderall isn't fixing my problem. Damn it, I even tried EATING something, thinking maybe my blood sugar was fucked up or my antibiotics were fucking with me.

Nothing is working. I'm still stabby as fuck. Like, people are going out of their way to avoid me. And I don't even remotely blame them.

I can't pinpoint my bitch mode on any one thing. I guess I'm just feeling emotional and overwhelmed. There's a lot happening in life right now, not the least of which is as follows:

I miss the hell out of my boys. One is with his dad, the other is at camp. I just want them home and with me.

I miss my marriage. Not the current, fucked up, destroy me relationship I have now, but the incredible man I married 3 years ago. He was my biggest supporter and my favorite person. I miss that, desperately.

I'm over judgemental people. If that's you... fuck off.

I'm being forced to start figuring out some serious life changes, even though I'm not ready to be making these decisions.

I'm just BLAH. And I need to snap the fuck out of it.

Here's to a better day tomorrow.