Thursday, July 28, 2011

A Letter To My 15 Year Old Self

Hey gorgeous girl,

Happy 15th Birthday! You have so much promise, hope, and excitement for an amazing future.

The next few years of your life are going to bring challenges you never imagined. You will tragically lose a close friend, be forced to move and start high school in a new town, and make painful decisions that will shape not only your high school years, but your entire life.

I know how lost you feel right now. I know how fiercely independent you are. I know all you want is to fit in and feel loved and accepted. I've seen you struggle with an eating disorder, a cutting problem, and a lot of heartbreak for your young age. Baby, all of these things are because you want so desperately to understand yourself and feel whole. You will get past them. But a lot of people are scared for you. They worry about your health and your happiness. Because you deserve both. Accept their help, and let them love you.

Don't be afraid to be smart. It's okay. Yes, you are a pretty blonde. But there is so much more to you than that. You are more intelligent than most of the guys you will come across, and the ones that are intimidated by that aren't worth your time. I promise.

And the 1000 sit-ups a day? Sweetheart, relax. 105 pounds isn't fat. It never will be. You will have plllenty of time after babies to worry about weight. So eat a freaking cheeseburger, I promise you won't die.

There will come a day when you meet a boy who makes you feel special because he is older, in the military, and drives a fast car. Baby, this boy will change your life. Not because you end up together, but because he will put you in a situation where you have to make a choice. And that choice will alter your life forever. I wish I could just tell you "DON'T DO IT!". But you will. And that will set into motion a path for the next 3 years. One that will cause you pain, frustration, and force you to deal with unimaginable consequences. But you will make it through this, even though there will be days when you don't think you can. And, spoiler alert, you will graduate at the TOP of your class at the end of it. And it will feel fabulous. But it won't come easy. None of the good things do.

Know that the friends you have right now will stay with you for the rest of your life. They are amazing, honest, and will have your back through everything. A couple of them will even end up with FBI files because of you, so please remember to thank them! Other people will come and go, but your "junior high crew" isn't going anywhere. You'll be at their weddings, hang out during holidays, and raise babies together.

Your family will make you insane. And you will fight and make up and then fight again. But you love them, and they love you, and that's what matters. You will discover that the key to relationship success with them is distance and a strict 72 hour rule. So hang in there. And it prrrobably wouldn't be a bad idea to drink a little less at your sisters wedding. Just sayin'.

Honey, you are more beautiful than you think, smarter than you give yourself credit for, and capable of things you can't even believe. You are the strongest person I've ever known. There will be moments over the next few years where things seem hopeless. They aren't. I promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel. It's just a long tunnel. But you have so much to look forward to. So much hope. So much potential. So much life to experience. So love the good, let go of the bad, and accept that while things may be hard, you will always be okay. Always.

You have a beautiful life to look forward to. Live it. Love it. You deserve happiness, so embrace it.



P.S. Don't text and drive. Especially on ice. Trust me. :)

1 comment:

  1. awww, love. If only we could have known then what we know now. However, we wouldn't have listened, and it wouldn't have been as much fun, but maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much either...miss you LOTS these days