Tuesday, April 19, 2016

You Live

It's been a few weeks since I've had the opportunity to sit down and write something meaningful.

But I see that as a positive step in a good direction.

I haven't had the chance because of work, family, busy schedules, and new adventures.

I haven't had the chance to write a blog post, because I've been too busy living.

My life is so incredibly different than I imagined it would be 2 months ago. I thought by now I would be moved to Raleigh, getting settled into a new job and a new home, dealing with a husband that was gone 4-5 days a week, and trying to meet new people and make new friends. It would've been hard, but I was willing to do all of that. Because I was deluded into thinking marriage actually meant something to the person I was committed to. Funny how you can be so wrong about things.

Instead, I'm single. I'm in the same house, same job, yet a totally different life.

I get to spend time with people who love and appreciate me whenever I want to. I have grown closer to old friends, and made some incredible new ones. I've had opportunities for incredible experiences with amazing people. I have so many things to look forward to, knowing that I get to do them with people who aren't going to lie to me, use me, and leave me.

Has every second been easy? Of course not. Divorce isn't easy. Finding out the person that you loved with everything you were absolutely did not give a fuck about you isn't easy. Having to find a whole new direction for you life, and then getting up every morning and reminding yourself that your reality is permanently changed isn't easy.

But you do it. And you smile. And you thank god for the people that walk beside you. And you find good in the bad, and enjoy the moments of happiness, and breathe in and breathe out, and survive.

And, if you're lucky, you end up in places and with people that would've never been possible had you stayed in the prior situation.

And you know you're going to be better than okay.

And you live.

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