The Advice You Don't Want But Probably Need

These are some of the things that people probably tried to tell me, but I didn't want to hear.
And you will probably not want to hear them either.

But let's just assume that I'm a little older, and a little wiser, and a have a little more life experience than your typical high school or college girl who is dating the man of her dreams and planning her wedding and names her kids. So I'm REALLY trying to help.

So take it or leave it. But if you leave it, file it away, because I promise you in 10 years I'll be right.

*If he cheated once, he'll do it again.
Yes, he's sorry. Yes, he promised. But guess what? He WILL do it again. He'll just try harder to not get caught.

*If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.
He had a great girl (or at least he thought so at one point or they wouldn't be dating), and he cheated on her with you. So what happens when you piss him off or ask him to do the laundry or gain 5 pounds and seem less great? You think he'll continue to be faithful because he's committed to you? Yea....

*The way he treats his mom matters
Seriously. His mother is the woman that sets the bar for how he treats females. He will likely treat her the best of all the women in his life. So if he treats her badly, is rude or disrespectful, or downright mean, be careful. Chances are he will treat you worse than that.

*Don't sleep with a guy on the 1st date
I know he's cute. I know you've had a couple drinks. I know you think he may be the one. DON'T do it. Even the nice guys aren't going to turn you down if you are willing to give it up that easily. But they sure as hell won't respect you after that. So do yourself a favor and wait. It'll be just as good a few dates down the road, and you'll feel better about yourself. Oh, and are the chances of STDs really worth it after you've known someone for 2 hours? Don't do it. Just.Don't.

*If he won't claim you in public, you shouldn't waste your time
Secret relationships? Really? This isn't the CIA, and it's not cool. Even if he treats you well in private, if he won't claim you as his girlfriend and treat you well in front of his friends, then it's not a relationship, it's a convenience. You are being used. Period. So unless you are cool with just being a hookup and feeling like crap everytime he ignores you in public, move on.

*You will fall in love again, and you will forget him.
When you get your heart broken, it seems impossible to believe that you will ever move on or be happy again. The idea of not thinking about him every day doesn't seem real. But it WILL happen. It takes a while, but it will hurt less. And one day, you'll come across something that reminds you of him, and you'll be amazed that you've forgotten his middle name or his birthday or even what he looks like. You let go. And you forget. Even though you swear you won't.

*A few close friends are all you really need
In an age where everyone is obsessed with having 2,000 facebook friends, this can be really hard to believe. But it's true. Sure, it's nice to have a list of people to choose from when you want to hang out on a Friday night, but more important are those times when you really need someone to talk to, to pick you up at 3 AM, or to understand your extreme Twilight obsession and crazy family and love you anyway. Those people who seem so "popular" usually A. Don't have anyone they can really turn to when they need something and B. Are covering their insecurities by surrounding themselves with  people. The best friendships have depth, and quality. Find a few of those and you can get through anything. Even lonely Friday nights and broken hearts :)

*You know those few close friends you have? Listen to them.
If you have those close friends who really know you and love you, you should pay attention when they tell you things like A. You're being a bitch unnecessarily B. That guy you're dating really isn't good for you C. That random trip to Cabo you can't afford but really want to do - do it. The point is that they know you. They want what's best for you. They aren't telling you things just to piss you off. So pay attention. You don't always have to do what they say, but take their opinions into account.

*Don't put off doing the things you want to
People think there will always be time "later" to do the things they want to do. But when you let moments pass you by, you're giving up the opportunity to do fabulous things now. So just do it. Skydive. Take a cross country road trip. Buy a motorcycle. Ride a bull. Bartend on the beach.Whatever it is, just do it. Living fully means embracing opportunities and taking chances. And those are the moments you'll cherish. So don't put it off, especially because of a relationship. Never EVER give up something you really want because of a guy, you will regret it. And resent him for it. Neither are good.

*It doesn't get easier, but you'll figure it out
There will always be people who try to make you feel bad or bring you down. You won't always win. Heartbreak still hurts. Life won't always go the way you want. Sometimes people are mean. Sometimes life sucks. But the great part about growing up is you learn to deal with it. You figure out how to handle disappointment and devastation. You learn to handle it with grace and move on with dignity. And you learn how to stand up for yourself. So while life doesn't get easier, you'll get tougher. And you'll be fine.

A Bit Of Randomness

So, just a quick update on things around here... We're doing highlights since it's 1 AM, but I promise more complete stories later.

Tidbit #1 - I almost died. Yep. Apparently the wheel AND tire can randomly come completely off your truck at 60 MPH and go rolling down the highway without you. Yea, I didn't know this either. Until it happened. Good times.

Tidbit #2 - Fourth of July at the beach was FABULOUS. Gorgeous weather, cool water, yummy food, cold beer. Exactly what we needed. Yay.

Tidbit #3 - I started a business. Ha. Yep. Finally decided to make it official. I even have a website, but I'm keeping it a secret until it's exactly the way I want it. Then I'll share with you!

Tidbit #4 - My precious KK has a heart murmur. Don't freak out. It could be nothing. We are seeing a pediatric cardiologist to determine if it's serious. But some good karma or prayers or whatever you do would be awesome. Because, I am freaking out a little.

Tidbit #5 - JC will be here August 1st. And his dad is an idiot. This is not new information.

Tidbit #6 - I'm playing on a softball team. Co-ed. Rec. Super fun. Love it. Fun group of people.

Tidbit #7 - I've been doing some serious re-evaluation lately. Just putting things into perspective. Perspective is good, right? Sure!

Right now, I'm sore, tired, a bit grouchy, and a little tipsy. So it's bedtime. But stay tuned for the details.

On A Whim...

So, what do y'all think about Boston? Or California? Or Colorado?

Me too.

But I'm open to suggestions, because there is a good chance that I'm randomly going to end up in one of these places in the near future. Maybe not permanently, but I am definitely feeling the need to get up and go.

I'm missing something. I just don't feel like my life is complete right now. So I'm on a mission to fix that. I do a lot of things on a whim. Some are fabulous - some end incredibly badly. Either way, it's my M.O. I'm pretty well known for my total randomness and shotgun decisions.

Before I just up and run and do something crazy, I'm giving myself 30 days to get some stuff together...

I'm basically on a mind and body rejuvenation thing. We are doing things differently for the next month.

It's a physical, mental, spiritual thing. I'm not exactly sure what is going to work, but my theory is if I work on all 3 of these facets, one of them is bound to give me the results I'm looking for.

I just know that right now I'm feeling lost and clueless, and that's just not working for me. So hopefully getting my shit together will alleviate some of that confusion and give me some direction.

No promises. But I'm hoping! I'll let you know how it goes.

The countdown is on.

Generation "Just Don't Care"

I wrote this a couple years ago - but I think it still seriously holds true, so I thought I'd share my "wisdom" with the world. Excuse the language - I wrote it when I was less... mature. Or really pissed off. Or both. Enjoy!

So I’ve discovered something since moving to Texas… most of our generation just doesn’t give a damn. We as a whole are an apathetic and narcissistic generation, and that’s sad. The only thing most 18-30 somethings seem to give a shit about is what directly affects them… work, family, parties, etc.

When did America seriously start not giving a shit? About politics. The economy. Fiscal responsibility. Religion. Anything? Come ON guys. Do you really not understand the effects that current socio-economic issues have on not only us, but our children?

Look at the economy for example… 58% of college students graduate with over $15,000 in student loans and over $5000 in credit card debt. With current loan rates of 6.8% and at least 14% respectively, it will take the average college grad 10-15 YEARS to get out of that. As banks continue to go under, things are only going to get worse. Money is going to get tighter, credit is going to be harder to come by, inflation is going to increase, and interest rates are going to rise. And why is this do you think? Because people just don’t give a shit. We come from such a ‘I want what I want right now, and I don’t care if I can afford it’ attitude, that has driven our economy into the ground.

Greed, selfishness, and stupidity are to blame for an economic crisis that is going to make your future dreams of owning that little house with the white picket fence impossible to obtain. Bankruptcy rates are skyrocketing, the value of the U.S. dollar is declining, and we as a generation are still out buying new cars, toys, etc. without giving it a second thought. FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY people. You’re going to care when Wall Street crashes, stocks plummet, banks fold, and we find ourselves in another economic Depression. The government can bail us out of a lot, but they can’t fix stupid. So let’s be smart.

Secondly… RELIGION… I am SO sick of this 80 something percent of Americans call themselves Christians but don't actually act that way at ALL bullshit that basically means “yes, I believe that God exists and I really don’t want to go to hell, but I also don’t want to put any real effort into cultivating a true relationship with him or bothering to follow any of his rules except those that meet my immediate needs”. Either you believe in something or you don’t. Either you’re a Christian who lives your life accordingly and makes a genuine effort to live for Christ and do as he commands or you don’t. PERIOD. This wishy washy in the middle thing is dumb.


And people who are mean, judgemental, hypocritcal, cruel, heartless, selfish, and hurtful, are only HURTING things when they call themselves a Christian. So if you are going to act like that, do us all a favor, and DON'T TELL ANYONE.

Finally, POLITICS…there is NOTHING that frustrates me more than people who willfully choose not to vote. How completely ignorant and apathetic can you get?!? We are given the opportunity to help decide the future of our country, and over 60% of our generation didn’t feel the need to take a few minutes out of their life to give their opinion during the last election. Really? People use the excuse of “my vote doesn’t matter”. Whatever. Yes it does. If not in application, then in principle. This election is going to decide the future of our country on a LOT of major issues. Not only on a federal level, but on a state, county, and city level as well. Research. Learn. Talk to a variety of people. Get opinions. Ask questions. Get answers. READ. Pay attention. Figure out what the hell you believe and then decide who you think will best uphold those values. In the time it would take to watch a movie, you could become an informed and aware citizen regarding political issues, candidate values, and what is actually going on in America.

 This is our FUTURE, people. And our children’s futures. This is Healthcare, The Economy, Social Security, War, Abortion, Taxes, The Death Penalty, The Environment. Come on, you HAVE to care about one of those. Basically, if you don’t exercise your right to vote, then you have absolutely NO RIGHT to bitch about ANYTHING for the next 4 years. I don’t even care WHO you vote for, as long as you take the time to learn something about them and what they stand for. Don’t vote for someone just because they are a Republican or Democrat. That’s stupid. LEARN about them. Get informed. Or, at the very least, find someone who IS informed and let them give you a 30 second spiel about why they are voting the way they are. I have my personal political opinions, which I would be happy to share, but that’s not the point of this. This point of this is EXERCISE YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE. I don’t care who or what you vote for, just be able to defend it.

STAND UP for something. BELIEVE in something. Get PASSIONATE about something. Pick a side… either you believe in abortion or you don’t. Either sex before marriage is okay or it’s not. Homosexuality. Interracial relationships. Death Penalty. The list goes on. STOP worrying about pissing someone off or offending someone, get informed, and make some damn decisions. LEARN about things. Ask questions. Discover something new. Dare to expand your horizons. Get behind something and be a part of it. Whether or not someone agrees with you, they have to respect you for standing up for what you believe. No one respects apathy. Or ignorance. Ever.

Let’s STOP being known as an ignorant and apathetic generation and start being known as a generation who STANDS UP for what they believe.

25 Random Things About Me

25 Random Facts About Me: AKA Everything you could have lived without knowing :)

1. I don't like chocolate icecream, or chocolate icing. But I LOVE chocolate.




2. I had a full ride scholarship to Tulane University in New Orleans to study medicine that I turned down to have my son and be a momma. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I made a different choice, but I have NEVER regretted it for a moment.



3. My two biggest pet peeves are people popping their knuckles and the sound of dial tones that you hear when someone uses speaker phone. Both drive me CRAZY.



4. I'm a natural blonde, but haven't actually had my hair it's natural color since I was 13. Sometimes this has been good, sometimes it has been VERY bad.



5. I spent my whole life in the Colorado/Wyoming area. Texas now feels like home.



6. I drink a lot. Probably more than I should. But definately less than I use to.



7. I love to cook. I HATE to clean up the ridiculous mess I create while doing it.



8. I spent 2 years of my teenage life locked up in juvenille detention facilities. I also have an FBI file because of that time period.



9. I would rather have cheesecake than just about anything else in the world.



10. I had an eating disorder in junior high and high school. Trust me, you couldn't tell now!



11. I would have been the valedictorian of my graduating class, except my high school refused to recognize superior academic acheivement for fear of it making others feel bad.



12. I love scary movies, but I can only watch them with someone next to me and a blanket covering my eyes, so I really don't see the scary parts.



13. I'm a huge flirt and love to flaunt, but I hated working in a strip club where that's what I was paid for.



14. I ran away and hitch hiked around the country with truckers when I was 16.



15. I can't stand cilantro. It is the WORST spice ever. And I can taste it even in tiny quantities.



16. I have 4 associates degrees. They don't equal a doctorate. It bites.


17. My dream car is a supercharged deep purple mustang with silver streaks and leather interior. I'm working on it.



18. I want to ride a bull and eat rocky mountain oysters. Preferably on the same day!



19. I am probably the most self conscious person in the world, but you would never know that by the way I act.



20. I love playing softball as much as I love shopping... that is a LOT



21. I've never been diagnosed, but I am absolutely positive I had ADD. My boyfriend and boss agree.



22. The best and most fulfilling job I have ever had is bartending. I love it.



23. Men randomly fall in love with me for pretty much no reason. I really don't understand it.



24. I'm ADDICTED to coke. The drink, not the drug.



25.My sister and I were once driving from Chicago to St Louis and ended up in Wisconsin. Seriously.
.

Random Ramblings

All of the random thoughts racing around in my head right now -

*I am seriously considering "breaking" or throwing away one of my cereal bowls, because I have 11 of them, which means there is NO way to make even stacks. And that really bothers me. Waaay more than it should. Every time I unload the dishwasher or look in that cupboard, I cringe. I've been looking for those same dishes, just so I can add one more bowl, but have had ZERO luck. So instead, I think I'm going to hide it in the garage or something, so that my stacks will be even and if I happen to break another one, I will have a replacement to bring it back to an even number. On that same note, I'm buying another entire set of my glasses because one is broken and that, too, is driving me crazy. I know, I'm ridiculous. And seriously OCD. But only with specific things.

*I just glanced over at my nightstand, and it is ridiculous. You'd think with as OCD as I am about the bowls and glasses, I would care a little more about the fact that I have 5, yes FIVE, half full coke cans sitting there. That has always been my father/roommate/husband/boyfriend 's biggest pet peeve. I am 100% guilty of opening a can of soda, or pouring a glass of juice or tea or whatever, taking 2 drinks, and then leaving it there and not touching it again. I know. It's wasteful. And I should stop it. I've tried. I get distracted, and forget about it. By the time I get back to it, it's either been over 3 hours, which is just yucky, or it's been long enough that it's gotten warm or the ice has melted. In either case, I refuse to touch it again. Really, this is something I'm going to work on. But no promises.

(Time out to go take all the cans and dump them out in the kitchen, only to grab a new one out of the fridge and take 2 sips before setting it back on the nightstand and returning to my blog...)

*I still don't know if I've gotten into UT Austin. And it is driving me NUTS! If the University keeps track of the number of logins to the admission website, I should be admitted simply for dedication and enthusiasm. At this point, I'd rather they just tell me NO than keep me waiting. Well, that's not true... I'd rather they just tell me yes and be done with it. It's mean to force a prospective student to jump through crazy hoops and spend hours sweating over admissions essays and resumes and then make them wait for 2 months while you kick around their entire future over doughnuts and coffee. That sucks.

*I need to do laundry. And dishes. And vaccuum. And pick everything up. I don't understand how my house can be completely immaculate when my parents walk in the door, and by Day 2 it is a disaster. And when I try to have the boys clean up their messes, my mom just keeps saying "Just enjoy them". Mother, I do enjoy my children. But I'd like to be able to enjoy them without 3 feet of toys and books and clothes and movies on the floor. Being able to find my children in the mess is crucial to enjoying them.

*Speaking of enjoying my children - the boys and I are baking and decorating Easter cookies tomorrow. Just because. Yay.

*I think that I have LDS. (Again, that's Little Dick Syndrome - it often goes hand in hand with beer drinking contests and big trucks) Obviously, I am 100% female. I always have been. However, I have this innate need to compete with men. I don't feel the need to compete with women. I just assume I'm better than them. Just kidding. Don't stop reading :) Really, I just don't feel the need to compete with women. I grew up in a very male dominated world, and learned early on that if I want to get anywhere, it's men that I need to beat out. So I do. In academics. In intelligence. In "stuff" (ie my truck that is just about the be lifted 11 inches). Anything that can be a competition, I make it one. And then I challenge a man to it. And I usually beat them. It's an issue. I think I need to look into this one...

*I need sleep. Lots of sleep. I live perpetually exhausted. Ugh...

Ok, those are my random thoughts of this evening... Goodnight friends!